Tuesday, April 24, 2012

National Infertility Week April 22nd - April 28th


  Mother's day is coming up soon, and as everyone is remembering their mothers, or the fact that they are one, I would like to take a brief second and remember those of us who are not mothers and may never be. Infertility is a taboo subject that many people cannot and will not talk about. I talk about mine a lot, and many of you may think I dwell too much on it, or that I'm just a little too negative about it. Before you question my motives, I would like to pose you a few questions... How often do you see pregnant women? How often do you see parents with their children? How often do you hear or see a commercial about kids? How often do you complain about your own kids? Now, some of you may not think these are significant events, but it is very much in the same way like when you get a new car and you notice everyone drives the same one. Or when everyone else has something that you so desperately want, but can't have. It would be like if I was continually saving up for a house, and then everyone I know was just given one for free. It isn't fair.
Infertility, should not be a taboo subject, if more people spoke about it it would be an easier topic. If a friend sat down and told you she had breast cancer your first response WOULD NOT be “Oh, well, my boobs are healthy do you want one of mine?” No, the first response would be “I'm so sorry, is there anything I can do?” So why if I tell you that I am infertile would you say, “Oh, not me, I'm a fertile mertyle!” or “I just think about getting pregnant and I get pregnant!” or my personal favorite “Well, you can have one of my kids.” Infertility hurts. Plain and simple.
It does not run my life, it does not dictate the person I am, it does not completely consume me. I would never claim these things to someone who is pregnant that they “talk about their pregnancy too much.” Or someone who is in love and getting married that they “talk about their love too much.” It just simply would not be said. Just because I do talk about it, doesn't mean I am rolling around in my pain, I want to spread the word, I want people to be educated about it. I want to answer questions that people are too afraid to ask.
It is national infertility week, everyday women and men are faced with infertility, I would just like to take a minute and say a prayer for those who are Infertile. Those who have overcome that barrier in some way, by adoption, by ivf, by simply just choosing to live without children. With the spread of word, and talking about things that are not easy to talk about, maybe this battle won't be a difficult one for those who face it now or in the future.
When you thank your mothers, when you enjoy the fact that you are one, especially around mothers day, remember there are women out there who would die to know the joy of those stretch marks, that morning sickness, those messy houses, and those hours without sleep.