Mother's day is coming up soon, and
as everyone is remembering their mothers, or the fact that they are
one, I would like to take a brief second and remember those of us who
are not mothers and may never be. Infertility is a taboo subject that
many people cannot and will not talk about. I talk about mine a lot,
and many of you may think I dwell too much on it, or that I'm just a
little too negative about it. Before you question my motives, I would
like to pose you a few questions... How often do you see pregnant
women? How often do you see parents with their children? How often do
you hear or see a commercial about kids? How often do you complain
about your own kids? Now, some of you may not think these are
significant events, but it is very much in the same way like when you
get a new car and you notice everyone drives the same one. Or when
everyone else has something that you so desperately want, but can't
have. It would be like if I was continually saving up for a house,
and then everyone I know was just given one for free. It isn't fair.
Infertility, should not be a taboo
subject, if more people spoke about it it would be an easier topic.
If a friend sat down and told you she had breast cancer your first
response WOULD NOT be “Oh, well, my boobs are healthy do you want
one of mine?” No, the first response would be “I'm so sorry, is
there anything I can do?” So why if I tell you that I am infertile
would you say, “Oh, not me, I'm a fertile mertyle!” or “I just
think about getting pregnant and I get pregnant!” or my personal
favorite “Well, you can have one of my kids.” Infertility hurts.
Plain and simple.
It does not run my life, it does not
dictate the person I am, it does not completely consume me. I would
never claim these things to someone who is pregnant that they “talk
about their pregnancy too much.” Or someone who is in love and
getting married that they “talk about their love too much.” It
just simply would not be said. Just because I do talk about it,
doesn't mean I am rolling around in my pain, I want to spread the
word, I want people to be educated about it. I want to answer
questions that people are too afraid to ask.
It is national infertility week,
everyday women and men are faced with infertility, I would just like
to take a minute and say a prayer for those who are Infertile. Those
who have overcome that barrier in some way, by adoption, by ivf, by
simply just choosing to live without children. With the spread of
word, and talking about things that are not easy to talk about, maybe
this battle won't be a difficult one for those who face it now or in
the future.
When you thank your mothers, when
you enjoy the fact that you are one, especially around mothers day,
remember there are women out there who would die to know the joy of
those stretch marks, that morning sickness, those messy houses, and
those hours without sleep.
